It was time to make the bond between Valen and herself. He would become her bonded companion through a bond that was unlike any other. They would have a mental bond made through her divine power that would link their very essence. Through her power, Valen would gain an increased ability to heal and an unnatural stamina. Over a three day period, he could sleep only six hours and be just fine- he could eat hardly at all and remain at his full strength. Rei would gain a bonded protector that would also foster a confidant relationship with her.

The Avatar thought on the consequences that they could both suffer, too. If she fell to death, he would go mad and seek out ways to make himself fall to death. If Valen passed on from this world, she would fall into a steep depression that would be a difficult thing to claw her way from. But in her opinion it would be worth it. Rei could already feel herself being swallowed by the depression of her lack of family and friends to surround herself with.

Rei reached into her robes and pulled out a charm that Valen would forever wear in his hair from this day on. It was elegant silver that had been molded and crafted into the shape of an elegant sea dragon. Twinkling aquamarines had been dotted into the sockets of the beast’s eyes. It was an artistic representation of Thanien, who she had adopted at her symbol. She set it down on the marble floor next to the basin that the pristine pure water of the altar was in. Normally, the water was up and dancing in different shapes of sea creatures as if it was alive, but now she had lowered it completely into the pool.

Though this ceremony was private- the doors had been shut and would be locked once Valen arrived- she had worn one of her most elegant pair of robes. The robes were a glimmering silver that plunged down to the bottom of her sternum. The split was connected with elegant and thin silver chains. The cloth of the robes was embroidered with elegant sapphire silk thread designs. A necklace of sapphires and dark silver hung around her neck and matching earrings dangled from her ears. Her silvery hair was left loose and a single silver chain was thread through her hair like a circlet and held a teardrop sapphire on her forehead.

When Valen arrived, she would ask him to lie in the altar water and remain there until the bond was complete. It would allow water to knit an arcane weave tie between the two of them and bond their minds- their souls- together tightly. Then she would string the silver dragon into his hair and the process would be complete. They would be bonded. Rei smiled and looked to the door, ignoring the cold of the marble against her bare feet.

Valen could not help but be nervous. As he lay his daughter down to sleep in her bed, he thought of what might happen if something went wrong. The man could not deny that it frightened him to leave her. He knelt down by the bed, stroked her hair back and kissed her forehead. She had been asleep for over an hour and he did not believe she would wake before he got back. Still, he had to tear himself from her.

He finished dressing himself quietly, wearing light clothes. They were clean and they smelled fresh, like everything that Rei put into his room. He looked in the full length mirror added to the room, courtesy of Brynn's enthusiastic request; she liked to dance in front of it, and sighed. The rings beneath his eyes had disappeared and the ill glaze over his eyes was gone. His body was still thinner than it perhaps should have been but Rei had told him with a few more weeks he would be back to his old self. Actually, he realized that he looked rather nice in the clean shirt and new leather britches. Everything was so much more elegant than he was used to. His hair was arranged in the plaits he normally had, the charms woven back in.

Valen let himself look over his little girl one more time before he left the room, making his way down the hall to where Rei said to meet him.

When he entered, there was only a lingering amount of suspicion in his eyes as he saw the altar. The man walked to her and put a rough hand on her shoulder, running it down until he felt her hand. Already, he felt some bond between them. What it would turn into, Valen did not know. But it felt right... and for once, he felt pure. The sins of his past would have no bearing on him. His hand let go of hers and he approached the altar, looking into the cleansing waters for a long moment.

Then he took one slow step in and then another until he sat, able to lay down. He lay with his face just above the surface, his long hair a fan of auburn around his face. He breathed deeply, looking upwards, fearful but also anticipating the bond.

For once in his life, beyond his small child, he would care for another greater than he did for himself. He was more than able and more than willing to lay down or pick up his sword for Rei.

"Command me, Mistress."

Rei looked at Valen as he entered and smiled. He was dressed in one of his new shirts that smelled of fresh cloth and new leather breeches that smelled and looked the part of freshly tanned leather. Valen looked clean and held the appearance of a man with pride once more. The Avatar noticed the faint glimmer of suspicion in his eyes but knew it would all be gone soon when the process was complete. He would be bonded to her in a way that shared their emotional states. It would certainly be nearly impossible to keep a secret. But she trusted this man. He was too much like her. In his soul, she knew he was good.

His hand, rough from his equally rough life, rested on her shoulder for a moment before taking her hand. Rei gave him a small, reassuring squeeze before they parted and he descended into the basin of the altar. As soon as he touched the water, it first fled from him- from the taint of the deeds he could not control. But the Avatar still held influence over her element. With the soft force of her power, she urged it back to him and it settled around him like a blanket.

Her eyes fell closed and she moved to rest on her knees at the edge of the pool. Slender, pale hands came to grasp softly to him, one to his arm and the other over his chest. Rei’s talent with auramancy made this particularly easier for her than it would be for most others. Around him she could see the pattern of the mana weave and where he was fashioned and fastened into it. She could sense her own weave and plucked from it strings and did the same to his. Like a great weaver, she wove them together until they shared a strong and nearly unbreakable bridge that could only be severed by death. The Avatar could feel a small tendril of her divine essence extend along this woven bridge and dance across his body. It would always be there to grant him his gifts.

The process took nearly an hour at least of near dead silence and concentration. When it was done, she could feel the soft tug of exhaustion on her body. Valen, now that the bond had taken place, would be able to sense the tiredness enveloping her body. With a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes at last and looked down at him. “And now it is done. Our life forces, the very essences of our being, have been woven together.”

She reached down and picked up the elegant silver dragon charm that had been resting near the pool of water. Rei pulled him up to sit and with a little expenditure of energy, pulled the water from his hair and set it back into the pool. It was dry now and free for her to wind the charm in. She did just so. “This is my symbol and it was always signify the bond that we share.” Smiling, she pushed herself up to stand and looked at him. “You don’t have to remain in there. You will find yourself surprisingly dry when you stand.”

Valen was not entirely sure how long he lay in the water, watching Rei watch him. She worked magic he knew nothing of and could not explain. However, the idea of a bonded was not too unfamiliar to him. He had seen some of the more powerful female wizards back in Willowmoore that kept what they called a mate. The men, however, lost most of their free will in the process, becoming enchanted with their charge. The death of their mistress was the death of the as well. The lycanthrope knew this was not the same bond.

This woman already had a mate. She did not say it... and he had not seen him but his wolf had smelled another male on her. Another wolf.

Slowly he began to hear the quiet whispers, the soft happiness and underlying torment that he did not understand where it came from. It grew louder as the ceremony continued on, ebbing in the back of his mind. His green eyes sought hers, feeling the exhaustion etched so clearly on her face. These feelings that came to him were hers, the man was sure of that, but they scared him.

Finally, she announced that it was done and he sat up, her fingers weaving a small charm into one of his plaits. When she finished, he brought his hands up to hold hers, bringing them to his lips. She was tired and he would let her rest, hold onto his strength for as long as she needed to. He got up and left the water, feeling the dampness leave him until he was dry. Valen did not let go of her hand but instead sat himself on the floor, gently pulling her with him.

"You are tired, beloved," he said gently. "And so you must rest. As you let me feel your strength in my time of need, I offer you mine right now." It was an odd feeling, sitting with her and feeling so strongly intimate with her. He wanted to say that he loved her with the same passion he should love a woman with but that wasn't it. She was mated to another man and that did not bother him. instead, it was being able to feel what she was feeling and know that she, too, would always know if he was upset. he kissed her hair, inhaling her scent.

"How does all this work exactly?" He asked, the questions on the tip of his tongue. She was a divine... so were there separate rules for her? Could he take a mate even though he would never share something this strong with another? "Can you feel... everything I feel?" He asked, looking down at her. "I mean, everything?" It kind of scared him that even at a distance she would feel even the slightest hints of anger or lust.

"You have a mate, do you not? I can smell him. Is that... not possible for me with this bond? Will I be able to love a woman in the way I am supposed to with this bond?"

As he left the basin, the water being left behind as if it had never touched him, he took a hold of her hands, bringing them to his lips. Rei imagined in some odd fashion he worshipped her as his savior and as the divine she was, though she had never thought of herself as someone to be worshipped. It had been a thought process and habit Dimitre had desperately tried to break her of. The god had proclaimed she would be forsaken by the Tree if she did not change her attitude towards her immortality. But she could never bring herself to be the way he was- never that arrogant.

Valen sat down on the cold marble floor and pulled her with him. Rei obliged and sat with her legs daintily folded and her hands resting gingerly in her lap. Though she knew he wanted to share his strength with her, it was something she knew did not work. While her strength could be relied upon by him and shared with him, it didn’t work in reverse. She knew it would disappoint him to discover this. “I’m afraid while I can give you my strength and you can rely on it through our bond, it doesn’t work in reverse. But if given a moment, I will be fine.”

He asked her question, some that made more sense than others. Some just seemed flat out silly, but it someone didn’t know of the bond and what it did, she supposed it was a reasonable question. “The bond gives you the ability to heal much faster. You can go extended periods with only a handful of hours of sleep. You can eat little and not require anything else. You can draw on my power and I can give you large bursts of it is need be.” Pausing, she took a deep breath and could already feel herself regaining energy. “We both gain the ability to sense each other’s emotional states and be able to locate one another.” She didn’t speak of what she gained, but would if he asked.

“I can feel mostly all you feel. I will know when something is bothering you or angering you. The same goes for you to me.” At the moment, she could faintly detect that he was feeling anxious from being separated from his daughter. But it wasn’t something she needn’t worry about. Brynn was very safe here- much safer than she had ever been or probably ever would be.

When he asked her of her mate, she smiled and then stifled a laugh at his question of whether or not it was possible for him to love a woman in this bond. “I do have a mate, yes. That is also possible for you, of course. What we share is much different than a relationship mates share. This bond would not interfere with that.” Truthfully she did hope he would find a mate. Rei was all too familiar with the hollow and empty feeling of your wolf without one. Valen deserved happiness, just the same as everyone else.

Valen rested his cheek on her shoulder, sitting behind her, uncomfortable at the news. He could not help her... it seemed the bond was more beneficial to him than it would ever be to her and that, in itself, saddened the man. She had the strength of his blade and comfort of his love and companionship... but if she ever grew weak he would have to simply watch over her until that strength returned. He frowned.

"I wish I could help you... for if you are ever weak, it scares me to know my blade may fall and not strike true." He brushed back some of her pale hair. "You can win a thousand battles but you can only lose one," he said gently. He listened to her description of the bond and it sounded... very much like how he lived normally. Valen was always in a constant state of exhaustion and hunger. His body was honed to hunt the beasts of the wilds and live like them. He hardly slept, ate only when the hunger pained him and he kept moving. All so that he could provide Rhylana money and provisions for their child.

Brynn would never know the sacrifices he had made to keep himself in her life and ever present. She would never know that her father slept in the forests outside of Minoc so that she could eat and have her life relatively comfortable. Of course, now he had a home and a warm bed to come home to.

"I hope that nothing saddens you, beloved," he said. "I hope my companionship does indeed please you as yours will please me." But he could feel in her there was a profound sadness. Over what, he did not know. perhaps in time he would ask but even as close as they were now, he felt invasive to ask. Just as he felt foolish asking about a potential mating. Never with her but if the opportunity presented itself, Valen did not want to be alone forever. Someday Brynn would grow up and she would no longer want the company of her father. Who then would be there to soothe his fears and doubts other than his bonded?

He smiled at her soft laugh and the explanation that soon followed. "I am sorry... it's not that I have anything in mind. But one day... someday I think it would be nice to fall in love with a good woman." Like Tari. It was times like these that he thought of her and how he wished he had been able to make it work with her. "That is if any good woman would want a dog like me." Part of him longed to go back to his daughter... but with the bond so open... and the two of them basking in it, he wanted to know more. About her.

"Tell me about your mate," he said. "He is wolf, I can smell him, but he is not cursed, is he not?"

“Never you mind about helping me when I am weak,” she dismissed him with a gentle wave of her hand. It was silly for him to worry about such things. It was a very rare occasion when weakness overtook her body. It only happened now because she altered and torn at the very fabric and life force of them both. It took much power and energy to perform such a task as that. “I am rarely in a weak state in which I cannot aid myself. It happens very rarely. Now it only happened because I altered the very fabric of the world to bond us together. It takes a large effort to do such a thing.” She smiled, small and almost belying that she was pleased with herself.

“You speak true words, bonded, but I do not doubt your ability to protect me. If I did, I would not have bound you to me.” The Avatar gave him a reassuring pat on the meat of his leg to let him know that she believed fully in his powers and it wasn’t some lie she had spun to make him feel better. “Things will sadden me. I have far too much empathy for my own good. That is something you can always help with.” Rei smiled, broader now, feeling the strength seep back into her body. In a few more minutes, she would be able to stand on her own and freely walk. “I will enjoy companionship. I have far too little of it these days.”

With a deep sigh of partially relieved tiredness, she got to her feet and then motioned for him to stand. “Walk with me to the shore. I will rest easier there.” She began to walk but paused at the doorway as she unlocking it. “Brynn will be fine. You have not noticed, but I have placed wards to your room, just as there are wards in mine.” There was a click of the lock and she opened the door, crossing the bridge and onto the grass, the soft blades sticking up through her toes.

As her feet hit sand, it seemed she was a bit happier. Rei walked into the gently rolling waves were lapping softly up against her ankles. Just the very touch of the water seemed to bring an energy to her eyes that glinted happily in the moonlight. “You mustn’t think of yourself as a dog, Valen. Bring pride into yourself. You are no dog.” He asked of her mate and she quieted for a moment, her eyes drifting to the stars- his domain. “My mate is a diowolf. He is called Kiba, Lord of the Heavens. He helped me through the death of my son and that is when our true connection formed.”

Lips tightened as Valen spoke of lycanthropy as a curse. It was not a curse- it was a gift. She shook her head then, sighing. “Your blood is not a curse, Valen. It is a gift. You will begin to see it that way in time, when you have control over it. Never think of it as a curse. It only gives others all the more reason to think you a cursed beast.” She thought of the people in the square that had hurled insults at Valen as he was trapped in the stocks, spitting on his race with no concern. They were not the wisest of citizens to outwardly show such hate to a lineage so dominated in the Conclave.

Valen smiled and stood with her. He walked out with her, following behind his bonded as she led him outside. The outdoors was what he was more used to and whenever he got to spend a day with his daughter, before she had come here, they always spent time outside if the weather permitted. Summer or winter he would take her through the hills and forests just outside of Minoc teaching her the names of plants and trees.

"I have no doubts that she is safe here," he said, catching up to her and walking alongside her. "It is just nearly surreal that after all this time, I get to be so close to her all the time. Sometimes, I would have to leave her for weeks at a time to hunt so that I could bring Rhylana money. I never expected her to care for and provide for Brynn alone." And she never had to even if he had to do without. For years he had lived with little more than the clothes on his back, helping Rhylana with the rising taxes in Minoc so that she could raise their daughter in a better world than theirs.

He looked out over the water to the dark horizon far beyond. He frowned for even if she said such to him and he wanted to change, he could not deny his rotten behavior since he had been bitten. As a boy, it could be the mistakes of youth... but he had become a man and had failed at it. "I want to be better but I have no trouble admitting to myself that I was a piss poor man to the women in my life. Even if Rhylana exalted herself in being an intolerable witch, I should have not failed her as a man." He looked at Rei. "I want to make sure I never fail another in such a way again. My mother raised me to be better than that."

His eyes widened when she not simply mentioned her mate, and the oddly appropriate name for a man who became a canine, but that she had a deceased son. Immediately, it brought back his regrets of Nicholas and how Rhylana had stolen the boy's time from him. Valen looked down, always trying to formulate a picture in his mind of what his son may have looked like. He swallowed hard for the grief was ever present to him.

"You had a son? I mean, I know you have three children but before them you had a son?" He asked. "If I may ask, what happened to him?" he wondered how much time his beloved had been gifted with her child, how often she had been able to hold him before the realm of death had swept him away in its currents. "I had a son... before my daughter was born. I never met him though. Rhylana kept him a secret from me after I left her, probably because she was angry at me. She told me he died when he was three years old and expected me to accept it." His throat felt tight and he felt the familiar rage come to him.

“Surreal, perhaps. But it is happening, Bonded.” Rei smiled at him gently, her hand resting on his shoulder for a short time before falling back to her side. “You will never want for anything again and neither will she. If it is your wish to still send support to Rhylana, it will be sent as well.” It was of significantly less trouble to her to acquire money than it was to him. The Avatar could easily gain wealth just as any divine could, but aside from buying her children things, she had no use for it. Though he perhaps didn’t know it, some members of her clergy were in one of the towns buying clothes for the little girl that was sleeping soundly in her room. Through the wards, Rei could feel the gentle and deep breaths and hear the steady humming of her heart.

Guilt lay heavily on Valen for things done in his past- things he had no possible way of preventing. Without knowing and being trained how to control the wolf inside of you, it was impossible to stop the takeover. Rei remembered in her early days as a lycan, she would often blackout and wake up unconscious and naked, covered in blood. She only wished hers had been the blood of bucks. More often than not it was the blood of people. Sadrach had sometimes been able to retrieve her when she lived in his home- but not always. Sometimes whole towns felt the wild of her beast.

“There is no blame for you in those actions, Valen. Without training and knowledge of how to control the beast within, it is impossible. You will black out and have no control over your body. Once you learn to hold control over it, if you still do these things, then you may say you are a poor person. Until then, I will hear nothing of it.” Rei craned her head higher as if to settle the subject on that note and put it to bed. She meant to make it clear that there would be no more discussion on the matter.

A small frown tightened at her lips when he mentioned her son. It wasn’t a subject brought up often aloud, though she could not deny she thoughts of him often- more often than she ever admitted. “Only one of those three children are actually my own. The other two belong to the blood of Gabriel. Darkness saw him as an unfit father and placed them with me- for now.” Sighing, she thought of the cradle Aunrae now slept in that had been vacant and void for so long. “My son was still and infant when he died. He was stolen from his cradle and his body found in the woods some time later.”

Rei could feel the familiar sting of the tears of her son’s death coming to the surface. She jerked her head away and wiped at her eyes. The Avatar could never erase the mental image of standing in Minoc’s temple to Dimitre, holding the cold and stiff body of her son to her chest. “You feel regret over your son when you had no way to know if he was alive,” she said suddenly. “You are not at fault for his fate.”

"I was not always out of control," he said to her. "When the moon was far from me, I could have a semblance of myself back. I still can. But... his urges and needs are not mine. I lost the woman I loved to him..." He looked back at the shrine, thinking to his daughter that lay on his bed, curled in the blankets. He loved her with all his heart and yet she was also a product of something his wolf had forced upon him. Valen would have never touched Rhylana, at any time, without his wolf. "Even my child is an end result of what he has done to me."

Though, to him, the only part of Brynn's birth he had disliked was that it had bound him to Rhylana forever.

"I see. I knew I recognized those two children from somewhere," he said. It had been a rumor that Gabriel's children had been taken elsewhere but the affairs of the church had always mattered little to Valen. "I am very sorry. that must have bee excruciating for you, beloved. To feel as if you could not protect your own child and to find that he has passed to the next world..." He was not sure what was worse- knowing your child and having to see their dead body or never knowing your child and spending our whole life wishing there had been more time so you could. Valen did not even want to imagine how he would feel if he woke one day and Brynn was nowhere to be found, only to later find her dead.

Valen reached out and took her hand, entwining his fingers with hers, allowing her the touch of their bond through physical means. She reminded him of how he felt with Eilanna when they just talked. His friend was now courting another divine's child and so Valen had not sought her bed for many months but they had a deep friendship. He could touch her and speak to her without her seeing anything as more than what it was- the affection of friendship. It felt good to know Rei was here and that should could soothe his fears and inward doubts.

He turned to her and took her face in his hands. It was easy to forget that she was not mortal and so he helped wipe away her tears knowing keenly how it felt to mourn over a child no longer there. At her words, he looked away. Truly, he should have not felt guilty. Rhylana had kept him ignorant of the son he had born with her. Still, as a man, he felt that he should have known something and come in to save the boy.

"Rationally, I know that it was not my fault. However, that does not take away that I was his father and the few years he lived he thought I abandoned him. It does not take away that Rhylana hid him from me, that is just an unforgivable offense, but I should have known somehow. I do not even know what my son looked like."

Rei could only sniff at his definition of being in control. It wasn’t being in control at all. If you did not know how to deal with the urges and needs of your wolf during pressing times, it would hardly been seen as control. The wolf would easily overpower the mind’s desire to do otherwise. “Just because you are aware of your surroundings does not make you in control. You know nothing of how to deal with and squelch the urges when you do not wish to succumb to them. He can easily overpower your will, even with the moon far off. Your wolf can be a dangerous part of you. Do not dismiss it as something so easy to control.”

It was of no surprise that her Bonded recognized Larren and Rowan. After all, he had some form of relationship and interaction with Rhylana. Even if Dimitre did dislike one of his daughters to point of hatred, he did care for Eilanna who seemed to have fostered some relationship with Brynn. Through one way or another, it was likely he had run into the children before. “Don’t misunderstand me, I love those children as my own. But they will never truly be mine- especially not if they belong to the Church.” A sigh left her at the thought that the two of them would be torn from her one day and she would never be the part of their life that she had been.

“It was very hard- it still is hard. I think about him at least once a day if not more, as I am sure you think about your son often.” It was the first time Rei had ever admitted to the frequency her son’s death haunted her. To others she liked to pretend that it had been a horrible occurrence but one she had dealt with and now handled. But the Avatar wasn’t sure she had ever truly dealt with Jaxon’s death. It had left a permanent imprint in her mind that was hard to forget- even for a day.

Valen’s touch brought a small smile to her face. It was this type of friendship she had missed so dearly in her life. She did not expect to feel his roughened hands on her face, his fingers brushing at the few tears she had not managed to stop. He looked away suddenly, likely feeling a bit foolish for feeling such guilt over his son’s death and wondering how you would explain such a thing.

“My bonded, you cannot let such a burden weigh on you. It is unlikely that your son thought such things of you and even if so, it was the doing of his mother. Nothing you could control.” Her hand came up to his shoulder- her familiar show of reassurance and the easiest way for her to calm him. “You could not have known, Valen. In my case I am a divine. I should have known- should have been able to find him.” For a moment she exhaled, seeming to feel the guilt flooding in on her once more. “It is easy not to know their face. I can never forget the image of his body, cold and lifeless, wrapped in muslin in that box.”

"I know. My mother tells me the same thing. You know, she used to like Rhylana and told me after I left her that perhaps I had been over sensitive when it came to Rhylana's neglect of my feelings. But when I told her about the grandson she would never know, she felt the same animosity I did. I guess I feel better about myself by being guilty. I should not blame here wholly for it... and I want to," he explained. "It is part of why I have wanted Brynn to live with me since she was born. Rhylana has been good to her but she is selfish with her pride. Just like her sister and her father. She would rather someone die or lose someone than admit how wrong she was."

He had noticed that the Knights placed blame everywhere but at themselves. Eilanna often blame her former betrothed for not giving her the glamorous lifestyle she wanted but she had chosen him as her mate knowing he would never be a rich lord. Rhylana had made many mistakes in regards to her fertility and yet, she took no blame. She would rather accuse men of rape and cry victim than admit her own hedonistic ways. As for their father... that was obvious. Any man that powerful would never have to admit he was at fault.

"I cannot imagine such a thing," he said softly to her. "I never want to imagine seeing Brynn dead and thinking there was something I could do to save here." He quieted and looked over the waters, finding their glittering, dark waves a welcome distraction as he let a silence spread between them. Already, he enjoyed Rei's presence and was surprised as to what they had in common. Perhaps not the most enjoyable common traits but they could share and move through their pain together maybe.

"If you do not mind me asking... how did you find out that he was dead? I mean, did you find him? Did your people find him?" He stood at the edge of the water, the tide licking at his boots. He missed the ocean even though it was often so sad to see it. Every time he visited the docks of Minoc, he remembered Elysia and how they had often met there and ran together until dawn when she would return to the temple. Even after Brynn was born, he and the woman had had many rendezvous. But the church was her life and eventually it had pulled her away. A profound sad loneliness reached him at those times of night. Because, in the end, he was alone.

Wolves were not meant to be alone.

“How do you bear responsibility in that, Bonded? You hadn’t even known the child had ever drawn breath until he had already taken his last. You are not an omniscient being. You hold no blame in that.” When Valen mentioned Rhylana’s selfishness and how it compared to her twin’s and her fathers, she could only click her tongue and be silent for a moment. Rei knew all too well of Dimitre’s selfish nature. Unfortunately it had never been something that had stopped her from loving him. Now he bore animosity against her most likely do to his harmed pride. She had not agreed to leave Kiba in the dark to be nighttime wife.

Not many could- or even wanted- to imagine a sight such as that. Who wanted to ever see their child perished in a box? Rei’s heart had shattered the moment she pulled back the muslin. No parent should have ever had to lay their child into the earth. Often when she looked out at the ocean from the shore, she would vividly remember standing here, her hands covered in the ashes of her son that had just been freshly dispersed. She knew then that Shadryn had his soul and that it would be safe there.

“No parent should have to put their child into the ground. It is a cruel thing for fate to ever lay upon a parent.” Rei sighed, grateful for the conversation to come to a peaceful silence for a moment. The subject of her son’s death was not one she traveled on easily, even with it so far gone now. But the cherished breather did not last long- could not last long. Valen asked her how she had found him. It was a reasonable question, it was just something she did not explain to people. Only Kiba knew and the one she had made the deal with.

“We have all done bad things, Valen,” she began, though she doubted her understood what this had to do with his question. “All of the divine- all of them. I asked them all to help me. No one could find him.” The Avatar let out a defeated sigh, as if she knew the next part of the story would make him think ill of her. It was possible. What she had done was a terrible thing. “I went to Dimitre. He is the eldest. If anyone could find him, he could. Dimitre does not offer his power out of kindness. I promised him the soul of my next born to his Church. My daughter belongs to him.”

Tears came to her eyes again but she brushed them back. Rei couldn’t cry. She had made the decision willingly. “I was desperate, so desperate, to find my son. I shouldn’t have made the pact with him, but I did.” She let her gaze fall to the sand, her head hanging out of shame. It had been the most shameful of any crime she had ever committed- to give the life of an innocent child to gain assistance from a God.

The beginning of her story was frightening to him for he did not like the way she worded it. Valen began to intently listen to his bonded and felt the tendrils of shame that began to infiltrate his body. At first, it felt simply sad but he knew that there was definite guilt and shame in the way that his bonded felt.

But he was not prepared for what his bonded told him. Apparently, she had sought help from the eldest deity she knew who could help her and, unfortunately, that was the infamous Dimitre Knight. Long ago, just after he had been bitten, he had sought out the White Prince in hope of a cure. The only cure that Knight had offered him was death, a cure that would relieve him of his infection but his life as well. In the end, Valen had left the Keep with no cure and war wounds from Dimitre hurting him. Valen had not been pack and so he had been a male encroaching on Dimitre's territory.

His lips pursed as he tried to hide his surprise. His beloved seemed to be a very kind and loving woman and yet she had promised a child, her child to that monster appalled him. Valen did not regret his bonding, no- never that, but he did feel disappointed in her. What had made her believe that after she made the pact that Dimitre would follow through with his end of the deal.

"And when his church, I doubt he delivered the child to you himself, showed you the child... he was dead?" He frowned, his brows coming together in concern. "Rei, my love," he began. "Why would you ever believe that he would have come through on his end of the bargain?" He took her hands in his, bringing her close to him. he enjoyed her scent and he wanted to comfort her, bring calm to the turbulent storm was her emotions right now. He did not have to truly know her to see that she loved her children, adopted or not. He had seen her with Aunrae, at the little girl's crib and how her face lit up and warmth spread into her features.

And now he knew that the child was going to not have a future. If Rei did not honor the pact, the geas would release and his bonded would die, leaving him without her. Such an idea was too frightening to think on.

"Why would you do that? What trust could you have placed in that creature, Rei? I have been in his presence but once and I knew that he was filled with only lies and deception."

Rei was immediately overwhelmed with gentle shockwaves of shock and surprise. It didn’t startle her to feel such things coming from him, even though he was her bonded companion. Most everyone found shock in horror that she would promise the soul of her child to Dimitre Knight. People judged very quickly upon hearing the story. No one seemed to take heed to the situation she was in. Her son, as far as she had known, was still alive- still out there being taken further and further away by the second. It seemed like a reasonable choice at the time that she enlist the help of the eldest of deities, no matter the cost.

Disappointment came swiftly afterwards- something that was common from those that heard the story. Physically she distanced herself from him, taking steps further out into the surf. The water reached up to her calves now, seeping into the fabric of her robes. She seemed to ignore it for now. “Dimitre brought me to see his body after he found it. Not his church.” It wasn’t defensive, just a mere correction of the facts. What was there to defend? The fact that Dimitre had personally delivered the news didn’t make it more worth it.

Why would she trust him- the God of Shadows and the Dark? Many asked this question. When she explained why she had trusted him, many just thought her mad. Who in their right mind would give their heart to such a creature? Who could love something so dark and heartless? Why would they? Rei’s lips tightened into a thin line and she found herself pulling her hands away from him. It wasn’t his fault that he would look poorly on her for this. Anyone should. It just didn’t make the acceptance of the judgment easier.

“I loved him.” Frowning, she nervously pulled at her hair for a moment. “When I asked him to help me with this… I don’t know why. He offered to help me to learn to control my divine power. He came at first for only a genuine lesson. It turned into... more than that. I found him frequenting my bed on many nights. He would advise me on problems and I would do the same when he asked it of me.” As her eyes closed, she could almost see him coming towards her, his eyes set on her as they used to, his hands reaching for her.

“I loved him. I know it doesn’t make any sense at all. No one would understand why at all.” Rei didn’t know if he could decipher any of the emotions that were flooding from her- there were likely many of them. At the moment she didn’t care. She didn’t want to be standing here anymore. Thinking of Dimitre and the way he used to look at her and hold her in the quiet of her room only brought sadness to her. “Valen, I’m tired,” she commented, though it was a lie. Turning, she moved away from him and their spot on the beach and towards the door, wiping furiously at her eyes.